Why do we need to Read More?

“Reading is boring. It is a waste of time. I find people who read as idiots. This is not my opinion. This is an established fact.”
This was me 10 months ago.

Now I am 20 books down, and am going through a breakdown/BREAKTHROUGH and I really feel that books are one of the best things to do with your time.

Why is it that on an average, a CEO reads 50 books a year?
Why is it that so many successful people in various fields think that books are a way to succeed?
Can you do it without books?

We shall discuss the reasons below –

1.) Wider Perspective –

This point, in my opinion, is the most important thing you can get out of books. We only know things which we have heard, read, watched, or experienced. So when we read, we get a wider view of all the problems, opportunities, emotions and actions. There is a concept called ‘Neuroplasticity’ which I have discussed in an earlier blog which basically means that your brain is like plastic and as you start thinking more, your brain grows in size and capacity and can never get back to normal. As reading enhances that growth, opportunities flourish.

2.) Increase in Knowledge –

You learn a lot when you read or listen to a lot of perspectives and go deep into them. This knowledge is necessary in every sphere of the world. This knowledge can take you to my next point.

3.) Influencing People –

Even though millennials hate the word ‘Geek’, geeks are good at what they know about. When you know a lot about a certain thing, people tend to get influenced by you. I have a friend, Piyush, who has something to say on so many things. I get intimidated by him easily. Sometimes I fear that he can talk me into changing my sexuality.
P.S.- I want a world free of judgment on other’s sexual orientation.

This point connects us to another point.

4.) Confidence –

Reading books does increase confidence in us as it helps us in growing our knowledge sphere and making us a better person. I was this super insecure kid bad at presenting myself. But as I started reading more, I felt comfortable around the unknowns as I was confident of my achievements(reading being the prime achievement yet) and conscious of my plus points.

5.) Ethics –

Maybe this is not the most desirable reason to read as the world is doing okay without ethics. But as we read more of good content, we understand how being ethically correct is good for the world and also for ‘Us’. Reading about Gandhi and Mandela and getting into their ideologies and how it turned the world into a better place inspires us to take up their values. This is indeed an improvement you should look forward to.

6.) Strong Dating Life –

Not the kind of dating you are looking for. But that too. Sure. What I am talking about is that reading autobiographies of great thinkers, workers, believers while eating is such a good date. Many of these great people are dead, yet, you have the golden opportunity to download their brains and let it work for your betterment. If this is not amusing you then you are built to watch ‘Crime Petrol’ Or ‘Big Boss’.

7.) Stress Reduction –

Honestly, I started reading because I was going through a stressful phase in my relationship and it was great to read and invest some time someplace else than being worried about who your girl is meeting.

A 2009 study at the University of Sussex found that reading can reduce stress by up to 68%. It works better and faster than other relaxation methods, such as listening to music or drinking a hot cup of tea.

P.S.- I am single now.

8.) Better Vocabulary –

Vocabulary is improved by reading more as you go through so many new words and it increases the probability of you learning them. Don’t think twice before referring to a dictionary or googling something. Initially, you might think that this process is slowing you down, but in the long run, you are just making reading quicker and more fun experience.

9.) Memory –

Studies show that you can work a lot on your memory by reading. Alzheimer’s disease in this day and age is always daunting us. But reading can save you from it. If anything, you will save a lot from not having to take treatment for Alzheimer and you can use those extra bucks on ‘books’.

10.) A Boost to your Creativity –

I never thought I can write a blog before starting to read. And with this experience, I can tell you that ‘Reading Increases your Creativity’.

New thoughts and ideologies inspire us, stories of real and fictional people connect to our soul and it is a way to improve your creativity in the field you are working.

11.) More opportunities –

I think I have covered this point above but I am not sure so here it goes again. I never knew I can write until I read books. And now I am so much more open to unexpected glories and new hobbies. Things seem more possible to me than ever. You might pick up something else with reading which might change your life.

12.) Connecting Dots –

You can easily argue that not everything you read will help you. But I politely differ from this perspective. I have seen the knowledge connecting throughout life for a better reality and a prosperous future.

Take the example of Steve Jobs – being an Entrepreneur, why did he ever take up a class for calligraphy? But eventually, he used the knowledge in building the software for word processor in Mac IOS. Who would have thought, that this will ever connect? But it did.
‘You can only see them connect backwards when you achieve something with it.’

13.) Communication Skills are Polished –

Reading quality content improves and upgrades your quality of communication. It may take some time but this is inevitable. You will thank the idea of reading books.

And just so you don’t know, communication skills are the soul of your life. It is very hard to accomplish anything without quality talks.

14.) Cheap thrills –

Well, this point is one of my favourite reason. They don’t cost much and you can read them for a few days or weeks unlike the food and the movies which finish in a few minutes. Plus you gain something out of it which is more profitable than gaining extra pounds.

15.) Sleep –

Yes. Yessss. It helps you to sleep better. Do it for the sake of sleep. If you are having a hard time sleeping, a habit of reading might be of some help.

Conclusion

I tried my best in trying to cover all the benefits of reading. Surely, some are being ignored and not covered in this blog post. But the aim is to make you read more so that you may improve your life and help others improve their lives. Most importantly, I want all of us to be happy and fulfilled and prosper a lot in life.

If you can, take out 40 minutes of your day to watch this video.

It inspired me to write this blog.

Anecdote about my slip-ons

Attachment is dangerous to your life.

I understood this law(if you may) with a really stupid incident.

I used to have this comfortable pair of slip-ons which I loved a lot. They went through a lot of wear and tear and yet I cannot see a way to throw them. I used to get them repaired at the cobbler’s shop. And not just once but 4 times in the past one year. This was not because of the money. It was plain because of the reason that I was attached to it. It was comfortable but not even that comfortable that I should have persisted with it for a year with the wear and tear it had. I was too afraid that I will never get the comfort in any other slip-ons. I was ready to sacrifice a bit of comfort to never confront my fear and never try on new slip-ons.But this one day, last week, my father thought enough is enough. He actually went into my room to get the slippers and threw them in the dustbin and bought me another pair of slippers. I was so upset of knowing this whole incident that I didn’t talk to my father and was angry with him. But now I am realising that this new pair of slip-ons is so much better and so comfortable that I feel idiotic in not buying them earlier.

And it has taught me a big lesson –

You have to stop taking the piss when it is over your head. There is one thing call sticking through the tough times, but the times should change. It should become better. But if you cannot see things improving anytime sooner then you need to stop persisting with it.
You might fail in your next relationship(s), but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try something new.

As in my case, my new slippers could have been horrible, but I shouldn’t have let it become a reason to not try.
It was an irrational fear. We need to try something new in order to get a meaningful experience, job, relationship, and even slippers.

These are my new slippers.❤️

Comment down or DM me if you love your slippers.

Identity Crisis

The more you cement your identity, the harder it is to get away from it.

If you always tell people how lazy you are, then it will be really hard for you to be proactive when the situation demands. That is how our brain works.

It works the same way for the positive notions too.

For ex – I always talk about and take pride in how important it is going on the right path following the rules is for me. So when I am in traffic and there are fewer people, I still follow the rules. I won’t skip a red light. My brain wouldn’t let me. Because it isn’t me.

It works with honesty too. I tend to tell people and myself too that I like being honest with people about anything and everything as it is much easier and a much fruitful path in the long run. It helps me to get real connections as they accept me for who I am.

I am glad you read this blog. It will mean a lot to me if you take a few seconds to comment or DM me about how you felt after it. I am open to suggestions to improve my content.

I wish you have a really happy week!

Cheers

Meditation

Since I am practising Meditation for about last ten days with regularity and for the past ten months with super irregularity, I can tell you that I have read a lot of articles and seen a lot of videos talking about Meditation.

I was always looking for ways to find out how it can be fun. Turns out, there isn’t. There is a sense of satisfaction, but definitely no “regular” fun.

Certain questions which arise are-

What does meditation even mean?
Why meditate
How to meditate?

And my favourite one-

4. Why is it so hard?

We shall take on one at a time-

What does meditation even mean?

You might have mistaken meditation for sitting still in one position and breathing like most others assume. But it is not exactly what meditation means.

Meditation is a practice to improve your power to live in the present.

You can be showering and enjoying your bath by not thinking about your love life or office pressure. You can be watering plants and loving the process. You can be cleaning your place and enjoying the routine.

So, why do people sit in silence and breath?

Basically, when you meditate, you have to focus on the things which you do very naturally otherwise, like cleaning, bathing, and even breathing. As we live in the world of digital distractions, our minds are being trained to get away from the present and think about the past or future as an escape from our present.

So sitting still and concentrating on the breathe just make us live the present more completely

Why meditate?

To help ourselves in living fully and being in present more often than not and thereby detaching ourselves from the fear and anxiety we get from the future and the pain we get from the past.

Scientifically, it thickens our pre-frontal cortex (part of the brain), which is right behind our forehead, which is the part responsible for our happiness.

How to meditate?

Just sit on the ground or a chair as per your convenience. Keep your back straight (at all times, if possible) and not curved inwards or outwards. Close your eyes to limit your distractions and ease the process. Breathe in for 4 counts as it harder for a new person to take more air, then hold the air for 2 counts, breathe out in 4 counts and again hold for 2 counts. Repeat the cycle.

Set a timer before starting, as time tends to pass really slowly and it is hard to not look at the clock. The timer can be set for as less as 30 seconds- that way you can even do it with less will power. And don’t do it for more than 10 minutes at one sitting, when doing it for the first few times as you will not do it regularly for long. Your will power might exhaust.

Why is it hard?

When you start doing it for the first few times, a lot of thoughts creep in and it is hard to concentrate on your breaths, for sometimes as less as 5 seconds.

Where are these thoughts coming from?

You must have felt this when you go to sleep right after a dose of social media, you are not being able to sleep, with horrible thoughts occupying your mind.

But when you are shopping, talking to your friend or doing any other thing which requires a reasonable amount of focus, these thoughts don’t come.

The reality is that these thoughts were there when you were doing all those things, it is just that they were in the passenger’s seat. Now that, in the night, when you don’t have any other thing to focus on, these horrible thoughts of the fear of future and the pain of the past takes the driver’s seat.

A monk under which Jay Shetty trained has a really good example to give the reason for why meditation is hard for the first few sessions. It goes like-

When you haven’t cleaned your place for a while and you start sweeping the floor, the dust gets to your face and you feel uncomfortable. Consider this accumulated dust as your thoughts.

But when you start to regularly sweep the floor, this dust tends to not accumulate and cleaning becomes easy and comfortable.

You really need to stick to the process and it will become easy with time and focus. It will not take less than a few months or even years to sit for 10 minutes with your only focus as your breaths. It is tough but now, you know the benefits and shall start to implement it daily.

Just 30 seconds if not 10 minutes.

Thank you for making it till here and supporting me, just like always. I wish you all, an astonishing life ahead with unprecedented success even in the places you lack faith in.

My Instagram- @haldhar.daksh

It is my microblogging account.

Failing and being a disappointment.

Patrick Grove, at 24, when the .com bubble burst, was in a 4 million dollar debt. His company went broke. He wasn’t getting any answers. It was so hard that, every night, when he went to sleep, he wished that the whole building would catch fire so that he will not have to wake up again to deal with shit. But he read a book by Tony Robbins that changed his life. Now at 44, Patrick is the chairman of 5 companies, is extremely happy, travel a lot, all because he regained faith in himself. That failure wasn’t the last of his failures, it was just a big failure. Now he fails every day and learns every day.

Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, his own finding.
Thomas Edison, arguably the greatest scientist of all times, failed thousands of time to invent the bulb.
Abraham Lincoln, former US president, was one of the biggest disgraces according to many people when he was young. He went on to become, one of the finest President and a great humanitarian.
J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, went to 12 publishers before she got her book published.

I can go on and on, as failures are a big part of anyone living their life lavishly in terms of happiness.

Failing is cool. Fail a lot. Fail every day. Try different shit. Be cool about other people’s failures.

Let’s make failing as cool as it is meant to be.

Failing is super positive. It all depends on your mindset. If you are more influenced by people’s opinion of failing, then you are going nowhere. Failing needs doing shit. When you go out of your comfort zone or as I say ‘zone-of-stagnation’ you tend to fail till you learn to rise.

Think of it as a video game. You will not get to the next level until you pass this one. You will keep on failing. But, when you get to the next level, you will get stronger and deal with better problems.

Failing will never leave you. The same is with learning. They always go hand in hand.

-Daksh

People are insecure about their abilities and that why, when someone tries to leave the tribe, they tend to protect him by pulling him down. They have seen people fail and never rise up. But the real failure lies not in falling but in ‘not getting up again’.

As long as you are in the arena, you are winning.

I know, it feels seemingly impossible, right now, to get what you want, but ask yourself, “How can I do it?”. You will get the answers. The human brain works towards what we really think.

If I ask you that we are to remove the jails from this world, what advice are you going to give to me?
If you are telling me that it isn’t possible, all the murderers and rapist are going to roam freely, crime rates are going to rise, people will be insecure on the roads, then you might be right but you are being negative.

Don’t let the society hypnotise you into being one of the conventions. You can come up with better ideas as soon as you think of it being a necessity. What if we ‘have’ to remove the jail system at any cost?
Now the great thinking begins.
Social centres, counselling groups, employment opportunities, raising the standard of living, better health and sanitation services, equality of opportunity in every sector, etc.

You understand, what I mean to say?
You need to think constructively.

Failures in life are the stepping stones to a brighter future. You have to take a step forward and grow. There is no alternative.

In this era, the amount of people who are worrying about other people’s opinions over their action is so much, that it is the easiest era to become great. Most people aren’t working on their dreams, so they will work on yours. I feel a bit sad about the current situation. But since it is easier, many people should try new things. They don’t, but they should. If you are trying to do something towards your future, you are already ahead in the game by a big margin.

If you have made it through this blog post, I am really thankful to you.

Share it with someone you care about. Like. Subscribe. One blog a week it is. Usually, I post on Sundays.

I hope you fail a lot and get the light which inspires you to rise up again. Human life is just a series of experiments.

You are a winner. It is a fact.

Follow me on Instagram for more such content. I post daily.

@haldhar.daksh

Forgiveness

Nelson Mandela was confined to an enormously tiny prison cell on Robben Island (a barren, not-so-huge, shark surrounded island near the coast of cape town) for 18 of his 27 years in imprisonment. He was treated very poorly. Faced degradation and humiliation to the level that once he was ordered by the prison personnel to dig his own grave in the prison yard and lie in it. The guards unzipped their pants and urinated over him. Though it was freezing in South Africa, he was only given a thin shirt and flimsy shorts. When he showered, the guards stood and watched this elderly man standing naked, an attempt to humiliate and break him. He was given food unfit for an animal. It was all very carefully planned to crush Mr Mandela’s spirit.

After he was released he became the president of South Africa.
He invited the prosecutor who demanded the death penalty for him to dinner. And he asked one of the jailers who watched over him in Robben Island to attend his inauguration as the president of South Africa.

He, in his autobiography,‘ Long Walk To Freedom’, wrote, “As I walked out the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in a prison.”

I have been thinking about this term-Forgive. There are many questions around the term and the process of forgiving.

First being- what does it really mean to forgive? To which I think, forgiveness is about healing a wound of your soul.

As an unknown to the concept of forgiveness, I was very harsh on people and more on myself about the misdeeds which affected my life.

I never tried to forgive people. I always thought they are losing me and not the other way round. I thought of being angry with them for what they did. In a way, I was right. ‘How could they have hurt me, a perfectly good person?’

How this works is that people try for a while, which is like a short-term high for us. We seem to get their attention, but when we don’t forgive them, they eventually move on. And this very fact hurts the heck out of us. ‘How could they just move on?’

But when I came to know about why people do what they do, it was a life-changing moment.

What someone does is done in the best of his understanding.

Anytime. Anywhere. He just reflects his relationship with himself. The thing is almost never about you.
It is easier to take everything personally, as that is how we have seen people around us do. For an average person, it is easier to say that society is full of morons but the reality says, that we are the society.

When you see things from this point of view, it is easier to forgive someone.

And when I am saying about forgiving someone for doing something, the deeds could be as bad as raping you, killing your family and any other extreme.
Now, don’t hate on me just now. Just keep reading on. If you don’t like my perspective, drop your piece of mind in my comment section. But please do read on.

What does it mean to forgive someone, be it yourself? When someone has done something really bad to you, you forgive them(even yourself for doing something bad) is necessary for you, not them. You will always have a feeling in your heart and soul that someone has done something really bad to you. You won’t be able to face the world until that wound is healed and the only way to heal a wound is to feel it. You can’t just ignore and distract yourself away from the fact that someone has done something really bad. It will keep on pilling up on your soul. It will become a burden to live with.

It is easier to forgive and live freely.

To forgive doesn’t mean to accept the person and their traumas back in your life. It just means that you understand what someone has done is the reflection of their love for themselves. And you shall just hope that they get some wisdom soon that their deeds aren’t the wisest. You cannot just hold on to that misdeed. It will ruin your future. The law, be it state governed or the law of the universe shall take care of his deeds. You can only do one wise thing, that is to forgive.

People talk about moving on from wounds by trying to forget it. But, this is just a myth. You never forget such things. They live with you. They become a part of you. You can distract yourself from it for now, but you won’t be able to be with yourself for one whole minute with that wound unhealed.

So, rather think about forgiveness and healing the wound of your soul. Thinking about their degree of knowledge and wisdom when they did that thing, eases the process of forgiveness.

You will come out as a better, happier and healthier person, being able to give your trust to people and will be able to live a more fulfilling life.

Writing a journal gives the clarity of my thoughts. Write about the things, instances and people hurting you. It will help your soul to heal.

Since you made it this far, I am really thankful to you for trying to understand my perspective. I hope it helps you with living a better life. If you liked it, share it with someone you love. It will mean a lot to me.

The Sun and The Earth

There is so much fuss about how love ruins your life. But my friend, have you ever loved someone before? Not just for saying, but meaning it. Not just loving the feeling of being taken care of, but being in love with someone.
People are so afraid after their horrible breakup or their friend’s terrifying breakup that they would rather be single and dwell on the fact that they can’t find love.

They put on their guards as soon as they hear something remotely related to love, escape the conversation, and will even escape the universe if there was a way for that.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not asking you to be in a “relationship” with anyone and love them. Respect yourself enough to find the right person. When you find them, hold onto them real tight.

I feel you can’t really live without that feeling of love. You have to love someone to be alive. Starting from yourself and then as many people as possible.

Love is never limited. Time might be. But love, never.

I was thinking about the relationship between the Sun and the Earth.
The Sun loves The Earth beyond anything. He let it grow and the life on it prosper.

It helps the winds to blow, it helps the plants to grow, it let the oceans to flow, let the people glow.

Yet, gives the Earth the space she needs. The Sun knows, that getting any closer to the Earth will make the Earth lose its very nature. It will hinder the growth, create havoc and will cease the life from her.

To me, love is about being in an uncalled relation, an unseen connection, invisible revolution around each other and unprecedented trust on each other. You must wish for the other person’s prosperity and well being and give ample space for each other to bloom and give the necessary tools to help them grow.

When you love a flower, you water it daily and see it bloom. You don’t pluck it.

In the same way, we need to help the people we love in becoming more of what they need to be and help them towards realising their destiny.

Love should be as free as the wind, which can blow anywhere it wants and is eternal. And if the wind forgets that the world is its canvas, love should step up and rebuild that belief.

Love isn’t a slave of time. It is a free man.

You don’t need a lifetime to love someone. You can create a lifetime of memories in a limited amount of time, with love.

–Daksh

Love is the energy we all crave.

Love is about being open to possibilities and being ready to accept the changes your loved one shall go through to become what he always wanted to become.

If you think that no one loves you then you need to dig deeper. Because what I have experienced in this small amount of time is that you are always loved in one way or the other. Sometimes, you just have to remove your shades of insecurities and unrealistic expectations and look beyond it to find it.
But believe me, there is always love in abundance for everyone.

I hope you can find the people who love you. Take out some time to tell them how important they are to you. It will nourish your love and will be like a tonic for future improvement.

Self Love.

Disclaimer: This one is going to be very informal.

This topic is so hot lately. Everyone is talking about it. People ask you if you love yourself or not. Somehow, most of you answer it affirmatively.

We are so confused about what self-love is. I was on a quest to find out what self-love is. For the past 5 months, I was looking for its definition and ways to execute it.

Initially, in this journey to find the meaning of self-love, I used to ask myself, “Don’t we all, already, love ourselves?“.
If not, isn’t it funny that we are the only person who we are going to spend all our time with, so if we don’t love ourselves already, what is wrong with us?

So, one day, I was watching a video by Goalcast on YouTube, in which the speaker, Adam Roa, was talking about self-love. He said, “Treat yourself like how you would treat someone you love.”

This kind of stuck with me.

We all want the best things to happen to the people we love. When they find flaws in themselves, we overlook them and tell them how good they are in themselves and what all great things they have and do which are unique to them.

We don’t do that to ourselves.

When they worry about things, we tell them how superficial and delusional those thoughts are. We motivate them and inspire them.

We never do that to ourselves.

As quick as we are in celebrating others’ victories and remarkable feats, we forget, what an epic and masterful piece of art we are.
We criticise ourselves. Put pressure on ourselves of others’ insecurities and expectations when we are the ones who hold hands of our loved ones in their toughest period.

We need to have positive self talk with ourselves. We need to accept our flaws and seek the best for ourselves because nobody in this world will care about you as much as you can do. And if you already aren’t caring about yourself, you need to change that processing.

Pat yourself on the back for doing so good till now and surviving 100% of your days.

Love yourself enough to dare on achieving your goals.
We want our loved ones to achieve their goals. We help them in doing so, motivating them towards it.
We need to do that to ourselves.

‘I’ should be your first priority.

Because without serving yourself first, you can’t ever be enough for the world.

Look after your health. See what you eat. Look after the data you consume because that is going to transform you into the ‘You’ of the future. Think, if you will be able to love the future ‘You’. Your current habits decide your future.

Even after knowing so much, I was feeling as if something was missing.

So, about a week ago, I was listening to ‘Under The Skin‘ by Russell Brand which featured Jay Shetty. I have always admired Jay. Tbh, I listened to it for Jay. His thoughts are moving.

So, getting back to the podcast, they were talking about SELF-LOVE. Jay took us through his beautiful philosophy.

He asked, how do we fall in love with people? Don’t worry. He answered it himself.

‘By asking themselves questions about them, by spending time with them, talking about their biggest goals, deepest fears and concerns, pet peeves, achievements, glories, favourite food, books, movies, characters, and then get to know their friends and family’

Self-love is directly related to self-awareness.

We need to ask ourselves important questions. What we want to do, what we love to do, who do we like, what is right for our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health, what do we value and leave everything behind.

We need to back our goals and ourselves.
Work towards your best health, mindset, spiritual growth, financial growth and enjoy the journey.

When we align with what we truly are and what we truly want, we tend to leave behind everything which cannot help us to achieve our dreams and find on our journey the best of people and stories thereon. Be it thoughts, people, materialistic goals or any other, when they don’t align, they are out of view. And believe me, it will make you happier than ever.

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

–Blaise Pascal (French Mathematician)

You have to invest in yourself the money, the resources and most importantly the TIME.

If we don’t work enough on the sculpture called ‘ourselves’, nobody is going to look at us.
–Daksh

Give yourself some alone time every day. Get comfortable with your thoughts. Sit and write a journal about your thoughts and accept them, even if they are not the most positive. Yes, write about your failures and how hard it is for you to move on from incidents and people and thoughts. Write them. Give them clarity. You need to acknowledge it as these are also a part of you.

Robin Sharma says it in the best possible way: “The way to heal a wound is to feel a wound”

We are trying to escape our emotions with screens at our disposal. That’s why, this era is the most distracted era, ever. People have forgotten about self-love and its results.

“Tranquility is the new luxury”

-Robin Sharma

You will be most productive when you are alone.

Block time for yourself. If possible, do it the first thing in the morning. Work for your best health-physical, mental, emotional, financial and spiritual. Make a journal dedicated to yourself.

It will transform all of your relationships.

What you are within reflects without.

Continue reading “Self Love.” →

Conclusion